Finding Your People: Building Community
Moving is such a strange mix of hope and heartache, isn’t it? One minute you’re dreaming about fresh starts and all the newness your about to experience, and the next, you’re standing in a kitchen that doesn’t yet smell like your cooking, wondering where the measuring cups went and who on earth you’ll call if you need a babysitter .
If you’re a mother who’s recently moved, I want you to hear this: you’re not alone in this season. And while it may feel like you’re starting from scratch (and in some ways, you are), community is not as far off as it seems. We have moved three times since 2020 for my husband’s medical school and training…I will be the first person to admit I am not the least bit fond of moving for a mulitude of reasons I’ll spare you from and save for a different day.
Here are a few heartfelt, realistic, and even a little brave ways to begin finding your people again:
1. Say Yes (Even When It’s Awkward)
Whether it’s a church potluck, a local moms’ group, or a neighbor inviting you for coffee, say yes. You don’t need to be perfectly rested, have your outfit figured out, or bring a homemade pie. Just show up as you are—with your littles, your messy diaper bag, and your half-full cup of courage. That first yes can be the door that swings open to real connection.
2. Go Where the Mamas Go
Look for spaces where moms tend to gather—story time at the library, the playground after school pickup, the cry room at Mass (some of the best bonding happens there when your little one needs a rest before going back in, let’s be honest). Even just exchanging a warm smile or striking up a small conversation can lead to something more. Most likely, the other moms are hoping someone else will speak first, too.
3. Be the First to Invite
This one takes guts—but it’s gold. Invite a neighbor over for coffee. Ask that mom you chatted with at the park if she’d want to do a playdate next week. Host a simple muffin-and-morning-play open house. It doesn’t have to be polished—it just has to be offered. Hospitality isn’t about perfection; it’s about making people feel welcome. And that starts with you. I’m naturally extrovert inclined but for my introverted readers, I know this is intimating but the more you do it the less scary it becomes!
4. Plug into Your Church Community
If you’re Christian, this is a sacred place to plant roots. Look into women’s Bible studies, mom’s groups, or volunteer opportunities. Even just saying hello to the same faces week after week builds a quiet kind of friendship. Don’t be afraid to linger a little after Mass. Those foyer conversations can lead to shared coffee dates, rosaries, and real sisterhood.
5. Be Gentle with the Timeline
Friendships take time. It’s okay if you don’t find your people right away. Even Jesus spent time forming His close circle. You don’t need to rush it—just keep showing up, staying open, and trusting that the seeds you’re planting today will bloom in time. It’s in quality over quantity!
6. Look for Little Anchors
A familiar barista, a friendly face at the grocery store, a mom you wave to at school drop-off—these small consistencies are community in the making. It doesn’t all have to be deep right away. Sometimes comfort grows from the quiet rhythm of routine and recognition.
7. Use Social Media with Intention (Not Comparison)
Social media can be a surprisingly powerful tool for connection—when we use it intentionally. Instead of scrolling aimlessly (or falling into the comparison trap), try searching for local Facebook groups for moms, parish communities, Catholic women’s groups, or even city-specific meetups. Instagram can also be a wonderful place to find like-hearted mamas; try using or searching hashtags like #CatholicMoms, #HomemakingCommunity, or #[YourCity]Moms to find women nearby or in similar seasons of life.
Don’t be afraid to send a kind message, comment on a post, or respond to someone’s story. It may feel a little awkward at first, but sometimes, those DMs lead to real-life friendships, coffee dates, or at the very least—a reminder that you’re not the only one navigating this season and possibly make a meeting in person!
8. Pray for Divine Appointments
God sees your heart. He knows your longing for friendship and connection, especially in the vulnerable space of motherhood. Ask Him to bring the right people into your life. Ask Him to help you recognize them when they come. He’s the master matchmaker and He answered the deep desires of our hearts and will equip you in the ways needed!
You may not feel “at home” quite yet, but every smile, every new name learned, every brave step toward someone else—it matters. One day, sooner than you think, you’ll be the one welcoming the new mom who just moved in down the street.
And when that day comes, you’ll remember this season not just for its loneliness—but for the beauty that bloomed when you chose to begin again.
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